Remember all of those ads, "Lose weight while you sleep?" I feel like co-sleeping has been the equivalent to that phrase in terms of attachment for us. In my opinion, co-sleeping is the easiest way to facilitate attachment with your adopted kiddos. You have to sleep, they have to sleep, you might as well cozy up together.
I have slept with Meazi and Melese every day since we have been together; at night, and at the beginning of every single nap. Steven, except for that difficult transition month where he slept many nights on the couch (primarily because we were not getting along, and we were passing pinkeye and ringworm back and forth) has also been sleeping in the family bed. I highly recommend this. Yes, it is true, you will most likely get kicked, punched, and peed on. It is worth it. I feel like it is an attachment "Gimme." Is that the term for when you get something for free without any effort? An attachment Freebie as it were.
We are still working out the kinks with the actual set up. We started with a queen sized bed, next to a twin bed, with a futon on top to cover the cracks a small person might fall into. That has changed because my little tortuga has become more mobile. We needed to take the bed off of the frame and lower it. Now we have mattresses and box springs together, with two bed rails at the foot.
I think it is worth trying. I know a lot of people say, "My child really does better in his own room," but I think everyone should at least attempt it. It is not always comfortable, it is not always easy, but I think you will find that it is completely worth it. I am not trying to be didactic, but I do feel strongly about this. Meazi and Melese were in orphanage rooms with at least a dozen other children for months. Before that they slept with brothers and sisters on straw, on the ground. They have never, ever, slept alone, and won't for some time.
There is something wonderful about being able to instantly soothe your child when they wake up in the middle of the night. There is something incredibly rewarding about a tiny arm flung around your neck, a small warm hand reaching for yours under the covers, and a gummy smile flashed at you in the early morning hours.
Maybe you are worried about your sex life? What is this word, "sex" that you refer to? Just kidding...sort of. Yes, it may put a small damper on your sex life, but there are ways around it. You most likely have other rooms in your house no? Or maybe you have a couch that pulls out? (Sorry to put that image into the heads of all of my-relatives-that-are-soon-to-be-coming-to-our-house-for the-holidays-and-need-to-sleep-on-the-hide-a-bed).
Does this sound preachy? I don't want it to. But maybe I can give someone who is considering it, the impetus to go ahead and give it a shot.
Meazi is a very restless sleeper. It takes her, for the most part, a very long time to fall asleep. After tossing, turning, and not sleeping, she will sometimes say, "Sleep on mommy's chest." She'll climb on me, put her head on my chest, and in the time it takes me to take three deep breaths, she'll fall fast asleep. I feel like I am her anchor, tethering her to the ground. I know that at those moments she, at least for a little while, feels completely safe.
Other benefits, the unused crib becomes a great receptacle for clean laundry, "Honey have you seen my blue shirt?" "Check the laundry crib." The unused crib can be used as a playroom, or a place to assemble a festive animal Conga line.
The toddler bed can still be utilized as well.
Nighty-Night.Here is a link with a good list for creating a completely safe Family bed.
