Saturday was Halloween. If you have struggled, or are currently struggling to have children, you don't need me to tell you that Halloween can be a sad day. Halloween brings all of your longing right up to the surface. It is a day when you repeatedly open the door to everything that you want, but can't seem to have.People in your neighborhood may avoid your house altogether on Halloween. Maybe folks think you are those crazy 'dog people' with the three mutts living in under 700 square feet. Maybe they assume that a couple your age must not like children, or they would have had them by now. Maybe you stand outside your door waving children in,"We have candy!" like some desperate weirdo.
Maybe you have just had a miscarriage and the sight of all of those little pumpkins, all those little Buzz Lightyears, and all those tiny princesses, make you want to slit your wrists.
Maybe Halloween is a day that makes you want to stay in your pj's, and take that bag of Hershey's miniatures back to bed.
Saturday was not one of those days. It was not one of those days at all.
This Halloween day started with the six of us waking up together.
This day started with a smiley baby, and his silly sister who stole his costume.
This day started with blue skies, and crisp air. This day started with my daughter's first tricycle ride.
This day started with hot coffee and an egg 'samlich'.
This day was a Habesha Tortuga and a Beautiful Butterfly.
This day was parties, and games. This day was friends, and trick-or-treating. This day was pumpkins, and pinatas.This day was unlike all of the other Halloweens.
Somehow, miraculously, there we were...
a family.Somehow, after all these years, there was happiness on this day.
My heart was so full that I actually took flight.
If you are still struggling this time of year, hold on. It took us ten years. Somehow, miraculously, it has finally happened. May it finally happen for you too.
Somehow, Someday...
Soon.
