Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts

Home is a Sister...

I know I have been neglecting this blog, but I have done a little bit of writing this month.

I have a new column HERE about what home means for Meazi and Melese.

I wrote about the Tesfa Teen runners HERE (page 28).

I found Melese outside the other day. It was windy. He was wearing his turtle costume and a pair of butterfly wings. He was moving his back around trying to see if the wind would lift him so that he could fly. 




This pretty much sums up what we are doing around here, trying hard to give our kids wings so they can fly.

Regrets-New Column


Recently I checked a online community board that I follow. This site is great for pediatrician recommendations, ideas for fun things to do with your kiddos, information about schools, and all sorts of other good stuff. I read a post from a woman there asking about the best fertility doctors in town. This is what I wanted to post in response:

Dear Infertility Patient


Disclaimer: I know plenty of folks took this route and ended up with a family. I ended up broke and broken- financially, emotionally, physically, and mentally. I got cancer (yes, I believe it was related-I was artificially manipulating my body to grow things that weren't already there). In no way am I judging you if this is your way to family.

 I just really wish I had started with adoption.

When She Was Just a Girl...She Expected the World.

When she was just a girl, she expected the world. But it flew away from her reach. So she went away in her sleep.

Dear Meazi,

Today was your last day of first grade. You were bouncing off the walls when I brought you to your classroom this morning. The room was buzzing with excitement. You have loved first grade. You adore your new school. You've made many new friends. You said it is a bittersweet time for you- sad because it is the end of the year, happy because you will soon be a second grader. How do you know the word bittersweet Meazi?

To say that we are proud of you is an understatement. Yesterday when I dropped you off, I took a moment to just gaze at you. I couldn't help it. You were radiating light. Your friend, and your brother, were staring at you too. You regaled us with some simple story that somehow sounded sparkly because you were telling it. It was as if I were standing next to the sun. Your eyes were huge, and your hair had been just braided by a friend the night before. You were literally shining.

You have shared a lot with your classmates. At the beginning of the year you showed them a picture of your Ethiopian family. You told everyone your entire adoption story. For weeks after, many of the other adopted kids in your class came and told me their adoption stories. When you received your citizenship, you brought in pictures the next day for show and tell.

As a student council member you showed everyone the school you helped build in Kololo. You told them that your father, and your uncles, worked on this school. You showed them what can happen when a community comes together.


You wrote a letter to President Obama, asking him to change things so that people from other countries could become president.

You learned how to hold, pluck, and nearly play the violin.

You showed your entire school your Eskista, and sang "I'm Black and I'm Proud" at the top of your lungs.

When we received the first and only picture of your late Ethiopian momma, you immediately brought it to school to show everyone. "I think my momma is the most beautiful person in the whole world," you said. You pulled the huge 8x10 out of an envelope, gasped and said to me, "Mom, when I first saw this photo I was sure that it was me!" You look so much like her. So much like her.

You are teaching me about what it means to be a friend. In a recent conversation I told you that you might want to avoid a classmate that wasn't treating you so nicely. You said, "Mom, if you are really good friends with someone, you are going to have fights! You just are! She is working on being kinder, and I am helping her." A bunch of kids came to play at the house. They asked you to leave the kitchen so they could draw something for you on the chalkboard.

"I Like Meazi. You are brite(sic) as sun shine."
 Your school assigns fourth graders to first graders as buddies. Your wise and wonderful teachers got you a new buddy after a couple of months. Your first buddy wouldn't hold your hand. I can't imagine why someone wouldn't want to hold your hand. Your second buddy is an amazing girl, generous with hugs and hand holding. She recently did 177 cartwheels in five minutes. You watched her take a horseback riding lesson last weekend. She is lanky like you. Today you wore two flowers on your wrist when I picked you up. Taped to them were her name and yours, a gift from her on your last school day.

I am making it sound like you are perfect. In the beginning of the year we called you Officer Krupke . Your teachers had told us you were policing the classroom, and that you were acting like the victim a lot. You were easily wounded, and felt like you weren't getting what everyone else got. I'd see you cut in line, and tell the teachers about every slight, complaining frequently about your friends. Those same wise and wonderful teachers have assured me that you are over this. They told me that you have matured so much over this last semester.

You love books. You love those Wimpy kid books. You can read chapter books, but prefer that we read to you. You have met Laura Ingalls, and Roald Dahl, and Beverly Cleary. You are really, really, interested in babies, especially in books that show babies being born. I have a couple of books for you on the top shelf of my closet. I bet we take them out this summer. You and your classmates created your own version of Todd Parr's It's okay to be different. Here is your page:



You are a dancer. You did a play. It was the Wizard of Oz, you were Toto, and you had a fever and a bad cold, but you went on anyway. You are shy on stage, the opposite of what you are like in real life. Your dad and I were shocked to see this side of you. It was as if you were actually scared of something. As two theatre majors, this gave us great joy and a deep sense of relief.


You like science. You have a telescope and know about photosynthesis. Daddy has decided that if he brings his bee stuff into the classroom again, that you will do the presentation. When he did it in your current class, you finished all of his sentences, and answered all of the questions. You know a lot about bees. You eat A LOT of honey.

You are a writer. Your writer's workshop stories were both heartbreaking (the story of your bus ride to the care center in Ethiopia), and hilarious (the description of daddy screaming like a girl on Splash Mountain). You are a poet.
Yesterday I picked you up in the carpool line. I chose the stay in the car option because your brother was napping in his carseat. Another mom pulled up next to me, she too, had a daughter who was a "new kid" this year. We sat waiting. I looked up and saw you come out. You spotted me, smiled, waved, and shook your hips in a funny dance. I yelled up to you, "Shake it don't break it!" The other new kid's mom leaned over and said, "She is so beautiful. I don't normally comment on physical appearances, (it's that kind of thoughtful school where 98% of the parents are trying really hard to say the right thing- in a good way) but her bone structure, and her smile...." She put her hand over her heart as she described you. I smiled and reassured her. "It's ok," I said. It is ok to say she's beautiful. Some things can't be denied.
  
In an attempt to capture this time for you, here are your most requested on the way to school songs:

Paradise- Coldplay
Mean- Taylor Swift
Party Rock- LMAO
Buffalo Soldier- Bob Marley
Dynamite- Taio Cruz
Lucky Now- Ryan Adams
Coconut Water- Harry Belafonte

You still like butterflies, and the color purple.

Your most successful school lunch (most eaten) was spaghetti noodles with turkey bolognese.


Things that you ask for repeatedly:

A baby sister from China.
An Ipad.
Pierced ears.
Converse high tops (the ones that go all the way to the knees).


I know that today was an emotional day for you. I am so proud of you. I am so happy that you love me.
I am so lucky that you love me.

I hope that you always feel this way about school, and about friendship, and about life.

You are beautiful.

November

So, anyone attempting the NaBloPoMo? Yeah, me neither. Considering I spend the forty minutes a day I have to myself eating corn chips and reading Facebook, I don't think I can succeed at a post a day for a whole month.

I love November. It is such a great month. The air is crisp. The sun is strong. Did you know that November is National Adoption month?

"This year's National Adoption Month initiative targets adoption professionals by focusing on ways to recruit and retain parents for the 115,000 children and youth in foster care waiting for adoptive families."

Adoptive Families Magazine has a printable calendar that suggests ways to celebrate adoption.

And speaking of magazines, I am so excited about this magazine that launches today. I think it is a fantastic idea, and I am thrilled to be a part of it. I should have an article up here if I manage to use the aforementioned nap time minutes more efficiently.

Hope you had a Happy Halloween. Here are the bee and the tortuga...


I Thought We Were Doing So Well

Meazi and I talk about her adoption all the time. We talk about what it means to be adopted. We watch her video Lifebook a lot. We discuss everything.

Last week, there was a scary news story about a four-year old girl who was abducted while she was playing in her front yard. We have a swing set out front. I sometimes let Meazi play out there when I am working in the kitchen. We have talked to her a little bit about stranger danger, and I have told her to scream bloody murder if someone comes near her. We have practiced the screaming.

A friend came over the other day with her two boys. (Meazi went to Pre-k with her eldest son).This friend told us to come outside to look at a giant dead snake on the sidewalk. (The hawks had eaten its head off- more about the hawks later). While we were looking for it, the younger boy walked off for a moment. There was a split second of panic as we all realized we didn't know where he was. He had walked around the corner. His mom called him back, and bent down for a talk. Meazi tried to get close enough to hear their conversation, and I asked her to give them a moment. She walked over to me and said,

"Mom, what is she saying to him?"

I said, "What do you think she is telling him Meazi?"

She said, "Not to do that again?"

"That's right," I said.

"Or what will happen?" Meazi asked.

"What do you think might happen to him Meazi?" I said.

"He might get ADOPTED," she replied.

Sigh.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...