Self Soothing

Melese had a bald spot on the back of his head when we met him. It was from moving his head back and forth quickly in his crib. For months after we came home, he continued to do this self soothing behavior. He couldn't fall asleep unless he did it. It is how he comforted himself when no one was there to comfort him. It was how he relaxed when no one was there to tell him everything was going to be okay. I knew we had finally turned a corner when this behavior stopped. He began to feel more secure.

Yesterday there were some pretty big changes announced in the Ethiopian Adoption process. While I am happy about a couple of things, (first that they didn't close the program altogether, and second that they will be able to have more time to make sure every adoption is ethical), I can't help but think about all of the children violently moving their heads back in forth in a crib. Alone.

I don't want to start a conversation about ethics. I just wanted to know if anyone else felt sick to their stomach?

I recently met a woman who had an unethical adoption. She was lied to. Her child was lied to. It is awful. It was wrong.

We had an ethical adoption. We, against all odds, now have an open adoption. We had to. Our children need it, and we have it. Please don't ask me to elaborate.

I don't really know what the answers are.

I just feel sick, and sad, and I am also worried for my friends who are smack dab in the middle of their adoptions.

Why anyone would think a 5-8 year old girl who has lost everything is better off in an orphanage for months or years, instead of enjoying a nature rich Oregon in the spring, or a culturally rich Los Angeles in the spring, is incomprehensible to me.

Excuse me if I don't publish your comment about unethical behavior. I am devoting this post to my ethical adoption, and others that may be ethical too.

Self soothing myself I guess.
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